Thursday, January 12, 2017

Leave Me the Bleep Alone!

I don't know how you feel about it, but I'm sick to death of machines telling me what to do.  Alarms, warnings, alerts.  Enough already!

This is precipitated by our security system warning us of something, we didn't know what, on Sunday afternoon.  Because the system wasn't armed, it was a constant high-pitched noise.  The security panel said Check 16, which is the Glass Break alarm in the kitchen.  We had been in the kitchen and hadn't noticed anyone breaking in.  I called the security company and they directed me to reset the system.  Fine.

At about 3:30AM Monday, system armed for the night, the alarm went off.  The real one, the one that wakes the neighbors because we're under siege.  But we weren't.  I flew downstairs to the security panel and reset the system.  The security company called us that time to make sure we weren't being held captive in our home.   They said they'd send a technician out on Tuesday.  Nerves jangled, I tried, unsuccessfully, to go back to sleep.  What a fun way to start a Monday.

When they came on Tuesday, they said the sensor in the kitchen just needed batteries.  Well, why hadn't the panel said so?  We might have been able to manage that on our own.

I'm very sensitive to noise.  All noise.  There was one upside to 9/11:  there were no planes for a week.  I noticed that and I loved it.  Humming, buzzing, clanging, backup alarms, smoke detectors with their intermittent and random beeping when their batteries need to be changed.  Our car beeps when you lock it, although it often doesn't recognize me as someone authorized to unlock it with our keyless system.  I stand beside it like a supplicant, waiting for it to allow me in.

I've turned off the End of Cycle alert on my dryer, but I can't find where to do it on my washer.  My dryer beeps while I remove the clothes.  Door Open it says, yes, I know;  I opened the door and I'm standing right here.  Thanks for nothing.  My refrigerator beeps if the door's left ajar or if either the refrigerator or the freezer drops below a certain temperature.

To me, trying desperately to read or relax (I'm pretty much retired, I've put in my time and deserve it), this all sounds like someone snapping their fingers and yelling 'Hey, you, get out here and fold the clothes (change the batteries, close the door, etc.).  Who died and made you the boss?!

Do we really need all these cautions?  Aren't we grownups who can look after ourselves?  Do we need all this help to function today?  I'm ready to throw out anything that requires electricity or thinks it knows better than I do.  If I need a burglar alarm, I'll get a dog!  Just leave me the bleep alone!

6 comments:

  1. Heh, your appliances are too high tech! My microwave will keep chirping at me if I don't attend to it's first beep immediately, but other than that, nothing beeps or only gives one beep and is done. Well except for the smoke alarms and for that I am glad because we have an attic and a basement and if they didn't keep beeping we'd never be able to figure out which one in which room needs attention.

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    1. Jack says I can blame it on him, and I will. He always has to have the newest and most complicated technology - even though it often defeats him. I'd be perfectly happy with fewer gadgets. I'm clearly a Luddite.

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  2. Luckily we just have the washing machine that beeps when it finishes, apart from smoke alarms. Although our car beeps crazily when you undo the seat belt if the engine is still running, and it gets louder and louder, annoying everyone in the vicinity I'm sure and threatening me with a noise induced three day migraine. I'm a total Luddite, the last person in the western world to get a mobile phone I'm sure!

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    1. I realize that some of these alarms are useful, but I deeply resent always being at the beck and call of inanimate objects. After my recent accident, I agree to take Jack's old iPhone so if, god forbid, anything similar happens in the future, it'll be easier to take photos of the event.

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  3. Modern life, ain't it grand?! Funny, but true, post, Joan!

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    1. Instead of finding these things helpful, I just find them incredibly annoying! Give me the good old days!

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